Self-esteem is the immune system for consciousness. Some people are more conscious of it than others, but we all still have it today. We’ll look at the book “The Six Pillars of Self-esteem” to improve our chances of success. Self-esteem is about our ability to be happy. It’s not like we can’t live without self-esteem. We can certainly enjoy it more if we have it.
Self-esteem is created in minds through beliefs and experiences, influencing everything. Low self-esteem means you don’t believe in yourself and cannot start a business, get a promotion, or win that competition. However, if you have high self-esteem, you will believe in yourself. Therefore you will do everything possible to get that promotion or build that business.
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Book Summary
The Six Pillars of Self-esteem, by Nathaniel Branden, is considered the father of the modern self-esteem movement. He explains six major facts that are mainly related to self-esteem. By adopting these six factors, anyone can build self-esteem.
First off, it urges that self-esteem is the reputation we have. Nathaniel Branden says, Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the ones we pass on ourselves. So it is our judgment on ourselves. That is what self-esteem is all about. It’s not about what the outside world says or how they judge you. It is your judgment of yourself. It’s your reputation with yourself.
The second basic principle of self-esteem is self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-respect. Self-efficacy means that you trust yourself and believe you can handle life. You believe you will persist in facing challenges, not give up, and go after the biggest challenges and goals. Self-respect means believing you’re worthy of happiness, love, and the fruits of your labor. You believe you have a right to be successful.
The third basic principle of self-esteem is that it is inside you. You don’t get it from the outside. Things like your money, finances, possessions, and the person you are dating or married to. You’re never going to get self-esteem from that. It is what you think about yourself, not what someone else thinks or feels about you. That is important.
You will never get self-esteem from others. Nobody can ever give it to you. You can not look for approval outside of yourself. It is a very dangerous game, and it is never over. Most people spend their whole lives seeking approval from outside, from every person outside of themselves. Branden says that if I aim to prove I am enough, the project will provide infinity because the battle was already lost.
On that day, I considered the issue debatable. Suppose we constantly try to prove to someone or something outside that was enough. We will never be able to do that because we’ve already lost that battle as soon as we start questioning it.
The fourth basic principle of self-esteem is our ability to stand for ideas, dreams, and whatever we want to do in life. As Nathaniel Branden says, genius has the courage and nerve to support your ideas. So you must be able to stand for your ideas, values, beliefs, vision, and dreams, whatever they might be.
This book has a best-seller rank. It contains 368 pages (paperback) and is available in all versions (paperback, hardcover, kindle, audiobook, audio cassette).
Author: Dr. Nathaniel Branden
Average Customer Review: (4.1 out of 5, on Goodreads)
Category: Management & Leadership, Motivational, Self-Esteem
Publisher: Macmillan Audio
Weight: 10.8 ounces
Dimensions: 5.19 x 0.92 x 8.21 inches
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem Review
The Six Pillars of Self-esteem is the practice of living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, and purposefully. Whether your self-esteem is at zero or five, this book can help give you some practical advice to apply to everyday life.
Pillar 1 – Practice living consciously
The practice of living consciously and being conscious means realizing what we do. It means constantly checking in to ensure our actions align with our goals. If your goal is to write a book, then it makes sense that you spend much time writing and researching.
Brandon brings this one up repeatedly throughout the book. It is understandable, as you need to live consciously and act consciously. He offers an essential yet effective tip for ensuring life at the moment, finishing every sentence you start, and never leaving any of them hanging.
According to Brandon, you first need to train yourself to live consciously to be deliberate enough to take up the other pillars of self-esteem. He emphasizes that while it is fun to live in your head, it is hard to develop self-esteem that way. You require stepping out of that dynamic and living consciously to relate better to the world.
Pillar 2 – Practice self-acceptance
Humans have a deeply defined need for self-acceptance. Brandon makes it clear from the beginning. He insists that all too often, people are not quite as afraid of their shortcomings as they are of their massive potential. He says that shortcomings are easier to acknowledge and swallow than huge potential.
It is possible to run not only from the dark side but also from the bright side. Run from anything that threatens to distinguish us, make a standout, or standalone. No matter how positive this is, we can run away from things that call for the proper awakening of the hero within us.
The most serious crime we commit against ourselves is not denying or wholly disowning our shortcomings. Perhaps we are so afraid of the greatness that we are capable of. We’ve chosen to give in to our circumstances rather than striving to influence and change them to benefit us deliberately. The initial healing steps and steady growth, awareness, acceptance, consciousness, and integration.
Ask these questions:
- Did you go to bed too late?
- Is your new goal exciting enough, or did you prepare your morning routine that helps you?
Once you ask yourself these questions, you can improve your habits and self-esteem.
Pillar 3 – Practice self-responsibility
Brandon clarifies that as long as you are blessed with the gifts of life and self-awareness, you have to pull your weight. You need to practice self-responsibility. He clarifies that people are responsible when they respond to life’s challenges as healthy, autonomous human beings and not as victims. They become responsible when they avoid blaming others or circumstances for challenges. It builds self-esteem.
Do you sometimes feel that life is against you? Your family and friends don’t support you, and everything in life feels hard. It means that you’re not taking responsibility. You are the victim of life, and your self-esteem will also be affected. You can control and accept what you can’t control when you take full responsibility.
Pillar 4 – Self-assertiveness
Brandon notes practicing self-assertiveness, living authentically, and speaking from their innermost feelings and convictions. This should be a way of life and, at its very base, a rule Brandon goes on. Warren Bennis is the founding chairman of the Leadership Institute at the University of Southern California and a pioneer in the contemporary field of leadership studies. He says self-expression is the basic passion of the best leaders he has had to study. Their work, at its very core, is a vehicle for self-actualization.
Self-assertiveness comes from believing that you do the right things without doubting yourself. You can use affirmations or mental models to become more assertive; little by little, you’ll gain that confidence and build your self-esteem. How can you expect others to believe it if you don’t believe in your product book or business idea?
Pillar 5 – Practice living purposefully
Brandon explains that a life purposefully is to use powers to attain our chosen goals. Goals should be personal, such as studying, starting a new business, raising a family, solving scientific problems, building a vacation home, and sustaining balance in a happy, romantic relationship.
He makes it clear that goals keep you in forward motion. What are your goals? What things deeply inspire you? He clarifies that these things, rather than things you think would impress your peers, deeply resonate with ideas and values.
Many people want to live deeply purposeful lives but fail to deliver their desired results. Instead, they wait for a better time to take action and spend their lives merely existing daily. If you want to live a purposeful life, your efforts should match your goals. You should also measure the progress toward goals.
Pillar 6 – Practice of personal integrity
The practice of personal integrity and the final pillar for self-esteem is personal integrity. In simple words, integrity means doing things you said you would do. If you said you were going for a run later in the evening, you have to do so. Even if it starts raining later in the day. The easiest way to practice integrity is by keeping your promises to yourself, even the smallest ones.
The preceding practices may hold firm for a while, but they will disintegrate. Integrity integrates convictions, ideals, beliefs, standards, and behavior. When our behavior sinks with our values, when our ideals match up with practices, we have integrity. Do your convictions, ideals, standards, beliefs, and behavior align? They should. Do you clearly understand your convictions, ideals, beliefs, and standards? If not, Brandon advises that you get to work immediately, or you will never be fulfilled.
Is Six Pillars of Self-Esteem A Good Book or Worth Reading?
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is a widely respected book that represents the nature of self-esteem and its importance in personal and professional life. Many readers consider it a good book and worth reading for the following reasons:
- The book offers an in-depth exploration of self-esteem, its impact on our lives, and the factors contributing to healthy self-esteem.
- It provides actionable advice and exercises designed to help readers build their self-esteem through the six pillars: living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, living purposefully, and personal integrity.
- Despite being published in 1994, the book’s core principles remain relevant and applicable today.
However, some readers may find the book’s writing style dense or repetitive, and others may argue that certain aspects of Branden’s approach are outdated. Nonetheless, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem is considered a valuable resource for those looking to improve their self-esteem and overall well-being.
Six Pillars of Self-esteem Worksheet
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem emphasizes the importance of self-esteem and provides exercises to help improve it. Here is a worksheet inspired by the book, focusing on the book:
- Write down 3 areas of your life where you could be more aware or mindful.
- List 3 actions you can take to be more present in those areas.
- Write down 3 positive qualities about yourself.
- Write down 3 aspects of yourself that you find challenging.
- Reflect on how you can accept and embrace both your strengths and weaknesses.
- List 3 situations in which you may have avoided responsibility.
- For each situation, describe how you could have taken responsibility and what you can do differently in the future.
- Recall 3 instances where you found expressing your thoughts, feelings, or desires difficult.
- Write down how you could have been more assertive in those situations.
- Practice assertive communication by role-playing these situations with a friend or in front of a mirror.
- Write down 3 short-term goals and 3 long-term goals.
- List the steps needed to achieve each goal and a realistic timeline.
- Identify potential obstacles and how you plan to overcome them.
- Reflect on 3 situations where you may have compromised your values or principles.
- Write down the reasons for the compromise and the consequences.
- Describe how you can stay true to your values in similar situations in the future.
Review and update this worksheet regularly to track your progress and maintain focus on the Six Pillars of Self-esteem. The exercises are designed to help you become more self-aware, accept yourself, take responsibility, be assertive, live purposefully, and uphold your personal integrity.
Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire for ourselves. The Six Pillars of Self-esteem, written by Nathaniel Branden, develops self-confidence and self-respect. These are the two main components of self-esteem. Brandon delves into the six pillars of self-esteem with immense detail and thoroughness, delving into the practice and the application. The primary strength of the six pillars is the value and depth.
However, this book’s major flaw is it’s so dense. You must read this book quickly with a highlighter, pen, and paper to write down and retain 10 percent of the information. Likewise, about 30 percent of this book has nothing to do with the six pillars and talks about how self-esteem should appear in primary societal and institutional contexts.
Regarding any cons of this book, it was written and only went over the six pillars. If you want to build your self-esteem fast, this is one of those books.
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